Last night, after coming home, I looked over the clips from the day before yesterday’s Yamaguchi performance
It’s really a delightful…such a delightful atmosphere.
This clips, I’ll cherish them
And… it’s personal but…
The other day, my grandma passed away.
Already some time has passed since Grandma-chan had gone to heaven but,
honestly, I still can’t believe it…
This kind of private talk, I know writing on this blog won’t do anything but…
Just, doing this, writing on my blog, my feelings, kinda, calm down…I think.
And, still I want Grandma-chan to look at my blog from heaven… thinking htat, I’m writing.
When I heard that Grandma-chan passed away, all my memories with Grandma-chan came to mind, and I couldn’t stop tearing.
she lived next to my house in Yamaguchi so
since I was young, she’d always come over to play with me.
I slept over a lot too.
I’d walk together with Grandma-chan in nearby Tokiwa Park
I’d get tired playing around so, Grandma-chan on the way back would always carry me on her back as I slept.
I think I was heavy but she always did that for me.
Since I’ve become part of Morning Musume。
I couldn’t really see her
But she’d watch me on TV it seems,
and when I occasionally went home I’d go see Grandma-chan
I’d say, “It’s been a while huh,”
and Grandma-chan would go,
“On this end I’d see you on TV so it doesn’t feel like it’s been that long, I’m always looking forward to it,”
she’d say that to me
those words really made me happy.
I know Grandma-chan was slowly getting weaker
when it came to the bathroom and stuff, she wasn’t being as thorough cleaning it,
Big sis-chan and I would clean the bathroom for Grandma-chan too.
When Grandma-chan was hospitalized
I only went to see her once but
she said, “I want to be discharged soon,”
her health might have been rough but she talked with me a lot.
Not being able to see Grandma-chan that much,
even though we played a lot when I was little
since I became in adult, I haven’t been able to do this and that with Grandma-chan at all so
when I graduate
I’ll go back home to see Grandma-chan
I’l talk a lot with Grandma-chan
even though I thought that, why did the timing happen like this?
Grandma-chan, I wanted you to keep trying just a little bit more…
But, that’s Sayumi being selfish huh…
Grandma-chan, thank you for everything up to now.
even though I’m indebted to you for playing with me lots and lots
I’m sorry I never got to say thank you directly and properly…
I’m sorry I couldn’t come home to see you much even though I thought being alone at home all the time was lonely.
I’m sorry that even though to the very end I wanted to see you I couldn’t even do that.
Saying good bye to Grandma-chan is really sad and
I couldn’t go Grandma-chan’s funeral either but
I feel like looking forward, I need to do my best and live as my grandma’s grandchild！
I feel like Grandma-chan was watching the day before yesterday’s Yamaguchi Triumphant Return Live from heaven too.
Grandpa-chan who passed away last year too…
For sure from heaven
I feel they’d be overjoyed,
“Sayu-chan’s fans are amazing huh！！ I’m glad！！”
I feel like
they’re always watching over me.
Watch over me from heaven for 11.26’s Yokohama Arena graduation concert too kay.
I love you！！